The answer to the recession is balloons.

As some of you know, I work in a real estate office in a model home at a residential community. Every weekend, I have to pick up six mylar balloons with American flags on them to tie up on three different signs throughout the community.
First of all, if any of you had driven with six inflated balloons in your car, you know that it's incredibly frustrating because they are always trying to sneak into the front seat and obstruct your vision. I usually get very angry and release my balloon rage on them, physically. To their credit, they can withstand it.
However, I realized that I am doing a service to my country by tying these balloons to real estate signs.
A friend of mine last night asked me if anyone was buying these houses. I said yes. My friend, Eric, pointed out that it must be the balloons. Perhaps the market is so down right now because we are not using enough balloons.
I can only assume that when people are driving by real estate signs, they maybe glance over, but then get back to their Jonas Brothers song. You know as well as I do, that if that same person, sees an American flag balloon on a sign, no matter what the sign is, they are going to come to a screeching halt and need to support whoever that sign belongs to. Because whoever owns that sign loves America and balloons.
Wife: Why did you stop?
Husband: Did you see the balloons on that sign?!
Wife: What?! Shit let's go!
Balloons mean party. Isn't that what everyone likes? Parties? Balloons are like positive people. On a rainy day, they are saggy and frowning. On a beautiful day, those balloons stand tall and proud representing America and the economy. After all, the money for the balloons goes to the Dollar Surplus store. The Asian Dollar Surplus employees in turn will spend it on other things. You see how balloons create that circle of money and life?
Some people worry that balloons and their strings are dangerous for birds. Really? Aren't there enough birds in the world?
Remember people. As the great Eric Kennedy says, "Maybe there won't be so many foreclosures if there were more balloons on signs."
I hope you learned something from this blog. Or more than likely, you're thinking that similar line from Billy Madison, "We're all a little dumber for having read this."