Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Now that you have my work history.....

I want to tell you that I have not had a lot of experience with professional job interviews. Things used to just fall into my lap.
I remember my interview at Zagara's. I had friends who worked there. This is how the interview went from the older, heavy set woman interviewing me. We'll call her Mimi, because she did look like Mimi from Drew Carey's show.
Mimi: Well, hi there!
Me: Hello.
Mimi: So I hear you're friends with Brendan and Pete?
Me: Yes I am.
Mimi: Well, they're such nice boys. You must be a nice boy too, then. Welcome to the team!
Damn! I'm likeable.

The mortgage company was an easy in because I got it through a temp agency. The interview process there was a computer test. EASY!
Interviewing with Kris from the comedy club was easy because I was the first one to inquire when the old guy gave his notice. It helped that we both enjoy theatre acting.
The guy interviewing me at Wegman's asked a weird question that I couldn't answer right away. He said, "What's the hardest thing you ever had to learn?"
The only thing that came to my mind was, "anything math-related."
Really, that could have been a very personal question. What if it was learning to deal with a rape? I could've started crying right in front of the man. Would I have still got the job?
He asked if I learned anything recently about foods. I, instinctively, said pineapple. I learned that pineapple makes certain things taste better that come out of your body and into a female's or whatever your preference is mouth. I couldn't very well tell them that on a job interview. Filtering myself is going to be an issue on a normal job now. I told him I have been on a health kick and was looking up online the benefits of certain fruits. I left it at that. Have you heard that, Damian, or is it a wive's tale?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Have I heard what? That fucking up a job interview to be a grocery bagger shows signs of deep social dysfunction? Yes, I've heard that somewhere.
Really dude, I'm not going to waste my time on your blogs just so I can be insulted. Your friend katies blog is way better. She's cute and uses pop culture references, it's always a refreshing read with her. Your blogs are like reading John Hinkleys diary or something. If you start talking about Catcher in the Rye, I'm audi.